Why

Why do people settle for those who are trash? Seriously, why do people settle for the low lives, the people who treat them like garbage, the ones who marry "just to keep him/her happy"? I don't get it. If you are miserable, I HOPE you didn't knowingly choose to get into that. You can't change your spouse, you can't change them into what you want, that's why there are 6 billion or so people on this earth. To CHOOSE from. If you are miserable, say something or get out...but please don't get married to someone you know will have to make you sacrifice ALL your happiness just so that they can be happy.... I see this a lot with military marriages: getting married because their pregnant, or young, or he's leaving, or they graduated high school, or he's going on a boat. Wait. If I would tell young people anything about the military and marriage is WAIT.

We weren't going to wait, but after discussion and advice (yes, we asked for that rather then shunned it), but I am so glad we did. We are both so different now then we were 6 years ago, and honestly, we thought of getting married cause he was "leaving", but it made no sense to me. I will never understand that concept of the military "relationship".....It was like, why get married when he's be leaving and could die? Either way, I'd be alone for the first part of our marriage; we didn't want that.

The military's high divorce rate is due to this: people marrying other people they don't love, but rather, are comfortable with. I see so many of these active duty guys who are miserable, and to a handful of them, I think, heck I know you wife, no wonder you are miserable...it's sad but true. These are the women who hate all other women. You know these types, they are the one who think anyone who is a female is either a)hunting her husband down cause they LOVE him, 2)skinner then her, or 3)"well she's just a bitch". Don't laugh, it's true.

My advice, WAIT and WAIT until you find someone who truly makes you happy. If you get pregnant, don't marry her cause you have a baby, marry her cause you love her, this is another royal screw up with many military families: Oooops babies and then mommy and daddy suddenly get married and love each other, seriously, just because you can have sex and get pregnant does not make you IN LOVE. Don't get married cause you think it's right...the kids will know, and statistically speaking, you have a higher divorce rate. You can be a parent and not be married to the other biological parent. Why would you marry someone you don't love, and in lots of cases, grow to "put up with".....

I don't understand all these young people who have "miserable" marriages around me...1)I don't care, and 2)You chose this? I mean, everyone has their problems, but bitching about your husband all the time, and your kids, and daycare, and you hate this and don't like her? Honestly, maybe you're miserable because you, yourself, are a miserable person and you don't like where you're at, even though you made this choice. Own up to it and grow a pair. Get over it and do something or be content with the fortunate chance you were given.

All this is another reason why NOT to settle for the one you "want to hook up with" rather then the one you "want to marry". You'll wind up like so many others: miserable and feeling stuck.