Why do people settle for those who are trash? Seriously, why do people settle for the low lives, the people who treat them like garbage, the ones who marry "just to keep him/her happy"? I don't get it. If you are miserable, I HOPE you didn't knowingly choose to get into that. You can't change your spouse, you can't change them into what you want, that's why there are 6 billion or so people on this earth. To CHOOSE from. If you are miserable, say something or get out...but please don't get married to someone you know will have to make you sacrifice ALL your happiness just so that they can be happy.... I see this a lot with military marriages: getting married because their pregnant, or young, or he's leaving, or they graduated high school, or he's going on a boat. Wait. If I would tell young people anything about the military and marriage is WAIT.
We weren't going to wait, but after discussion and advice (yes, we asked for that rather then shunned it), but I am so glad we did. We are both so different now then we were 6 years ago, and honestly, we thought of getting married cause he was "leaving", but it made no sense to me. I will never understand that concept of the military "relationship".....It was like, why get married when he's be leaving and could die? Either way, I'd be alone for the first part of our marriage; we didn't want that.
The military's high divorce rate is due to this: people marrying other people they don't love, but rather, are comfortable with. I see so many of these active duty guys who are miserable, and to a handful of them, I think, heck I know you wife, no wonder you are miserable...it's sad but true. These are the women who hate all other women. You know these types, they are the one who think anyone who is a female is either a)hunting her husband down cause they LOVE him, 2)skinner then her, or 3)"well she's just a bitch". Don't laugh, it's true.
My advice, WAIT and WAIT until you find someone who truly makes you happy. If you get pregnant, don't marry her cause you have a baby, marry her cause you love her, this is another royal screw up with many military families: Oooops babies and then mommy and daddy suddenly get married and love each other, seriously, just because you can have sex and get pregnant does not make you IN LOVE. Don't get married cause you think it's right...the kids will know, and statistically speaking, you have a higher divorce rate. You can be a parent and not be married to the other biological parent. Why would you marry someone you don't love, and in lots of cases, grow to "put up with".....
I don't understand all these young people who have "miserable" marriages around me...1)I don't care, and 2)You chose this? I mean, everyone has their problems, but bitching about your husband all the time, and your kids, and daycare, and you hate this and don't like her? Honestly, maybe you're miserable because you, yourself, are a miserable person and you don't like where you're at, even though you made this choice. Own up to it and grow a pair. Get over it and do something or be content with the fortunate chance you were given.
All this is another reason why NOT to settle for the one you "want to hook up with" rather then the one you "want to marry". You'll wind up like so many others: miserable and feeling stuck.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
three year freeze on military pay and stuff?
My response to http://www.armytimes.com/news/2010/11/military-debt-commission-recommendations-111010w/
I read this, and I am kinda (don't hate me) on the fence about being all bent out of shape about it. Both my husband and I are in the service, so yes, it would affect us, but it's only being considered, it's not in writing, they're throwing ideas out there how to save money. (right or wrong, I know).
I just come from a different viewpoint I guess where everyone else in the civilian sector is cut in pay, benefits, etc. but the military can't be (this I am thinking is their viewpoint)? Firefighters, cops, law enforcement, they are being fer-lowed (made to work for free) right now, my father is in law enforcement and it's true. He puts his life on the line daily for us, and he's being made to work for free, not getting paid, his pension being negotiated to get lowered cause the Federal Govnt can't afford it....it's bad all over. It's sad because the military is complied of the people who fight for our right, and fortunately, up to this point, we haven't been 'scraped' of our pay, told to work for free, our medical coverage taken from us; in the civilian world, this is the case, and it's sad.
I don't see this going any further, due to the outrage the military community will raise if it goes past this point. It's a pay freeze, not a pay cut, but either way, and I am sorry to say this, but military families have gotten used to pay increases, esp with Bush, and even Obama. The military community, generally speaking, isn't used to being cut back on pay, especially the younger people like myself---yeah we complain that "we didn't join for the money and stuff", but we joined for the benefits and steady income. It's INSANE to get medical coverage through a private company right now at a civilian job (did this before I was married-or tried to) and it was very difficult. I would get all my "medical stuff" done on drills cause I couldn't afford it otherwise.
I understand people are upset, and I have issue with some of the things in this article they want to cut back on, but you start neglecting pay increases to a entity that is used to getting that, then the number of enlisted people will go down, and people will be angry, and that is never good.
People in the military---and their families-- get commissary privileges, discounts at parks, groceries, military discounts in many businesses and shops, medical coverage, dental, optical coverage, car insurance breaks depending on who you use, FREE housing that doesn't come out of your base pay, and many other perks. I am quite frankly tired of hearing military spouses complain about how "they can't freeze our pay, we're the military". To that I say, look around, look at the economy, you think you're the only one having financial trouble? It's not just military folks, it's everyone. At least in the service you don't have to (not all but most) have to worry about a house payment, medical bills, and hospital bills; civilians and other who aren't "in the military" don't get these perks.
I would hope this won't happen, as I am sure the military member or their family wouldn't want it to happen either, but unfortunately it's the nature of the beast. It may be a possibility, but I don't see it being put in stone cause there will be just too much outrage from the military community.
It's like you tell the cops, firefighters, private investigators, corrections officers, etc that we're going to cut your pay, and it's done---it's fought, but in the end it is done; but you say to the military we're going to freeze your pay; and it's suppose to be some big travesty, like it's illegal or something to even consider "doing something that looks like you're not rewarding the service members" .
Maybe I think this way, which I know is NOT popular amongst a lot of spouses, but to them I say, I don't think I am entitled to anything as a military member, especially a pay increase. I am no better then someone who isn't in the service, and to act as such makes me upset. I hope this 'idea' to freeze military pay, amongst other things, does not happen, but I will not stand on my high horse saying "my husband serves this country (and myself), how dare them do this to US"....it would make me sound entitled, which is what a lot of civilians think of military people ---gosh, I wonder why?
I read this, and I am kinda (don't hate me) on the fence about being all bent out of shape about it. Both my husband and I are in the service, so yes, it would affect us, but it's only being considered, it's not in writing, they're throwing ideas out there how to save money. (right or wrong, I know).
I just come from a different viewpoint I guess where everyone else in the civilian sector is cut in pay, benefits, etc. but the military can't be (this I am thinking is their viewpoint)? Firefighters, cops, law enforcement, they are being fer-lowed (made to work for free) right now, my father is in law enforcement and it's true. He puts his life on the line daily for us, and he's being made to work for free, not getting paid, his pension being negotiated to get lowered cause the Federal Govnt can't afford it....it's bad all over. It's sad because the military is complied of the people who fight for our right, and fortunately, up to this point, we haven't been 'scraped' of our pay, told to work for free, our medical coverage taken from us; in the civilian world, this is the case, and it's sad.
I don't see this going any further, due to the outrage the military community will raise if it goes past this point. It's a pay freeze, not a pay cut, but either way, and I am sorry to say this, but military families have gotten used to pay increases, esp with Bush, and even Obama. The military community, generally speaking, isn't used to being cut back on pay, especially the younger people like myself---yeah we complain that "we didn't join for the money and stuff", but we joined for the benefits and steady income. It's INSANE to get medical coverage through a private company right now at a civilian job (did this before I was married-or tried to) and it was very difficult. I would get all my "medical stuff" done on drills cause I couldn't afford it otherwise.
I understand people are upset, and I have issue with some of the things in this article they want to cut back on, but you start neglecting pay increases to a entity that is used to getting that, then the number of enlisted people will go down, and people will be angry, and that is never good.
People in the military---and their families-- get commissary privileges, discounts at parks, groceries, military discounts in many businesses and shops, medical coverage, dental, optical coverage, car insurance breaks depending on who you use, FREE housing that doesn't come out of your base pay, and many other perks. I am quite frankly tired of hearing military spouses complain about how "they can't freeze our pay, we're the military". To that I say, look around, look at the economy, you think you're the only one having financial trouble? It's not just military folks, it's everyone. At least in the service you don't have to (not all but most) have to worry about a house payment, medical bills, and hospital bills; civilians and other who aren't "in the military" don't get these perks.
I would hope this won't happen, as I am sure the military member or their family wouldn't want it to happen either, but unfortunately it's the nature of the beast. It may be a possibility, but I don't see it being put in stone cause there will be just too much outrage from the military community.
It's like you tell the cops, firefighters, private investigators, corrections officers, etc that we're going to cut your pay, and it's done---it's fought, but in the end it is done; but you say to the military we're going to freeze your pay; and it's suppose to be some big travesty, like it's illegal or something to even consider "doing something that looks like you're not rewarding the service members" .
Maybe I think this way, which I know is NOT popular amongst a lot of spouses, but to them I say, I don't think I am entitled to anything as a military member, especially a pay increase. I am no better then someone who isn't in the service, and to act as such makes me upset. I hope this 'idea' to freeze military pay, amongst other things, does not happen, but I will not stand on my high horse saying "my husband serves this country (and myself), how dare them do this to US"....it would make me sound entitled, which is what a lot of civilians think of military people ---gosh, I wonder why?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Scentsy stuff.....
So, if you have followed me on facebook, you know I sell (and use A LOT) of Scentsy stuff.
I had my first Women'e Expo this last weekend and have a Holiday Open House this upcoming Saturday, and just signed up for the KW Grace Lutheran Art and Craft Fair show, so I will have a table there. All 3 weekends back to back to back....phew, I will be tired come December hehehe.
Scentsy is proving to me a success for me here, and has taken off. I have a new recruit here locally, who, I am sure, will do well when I leave and 4 other recruits all over back home and in the north eastern too....so maybe I have a team being built that will prove, maybe one day I can quit my day job and be a Scentsy Consultant full time. That would be awesome.
I am planning on gong to the Convention this next year in Fort Worth, TX in early Aug....which should be a great step if I want to take this Scentsy stuff to the next level. I hope where we get stationed next year takes to Scentsy like the military community and locals have here.
by the way, if you're interested is Scentsy look here: www.scentsy.us/brookecowan
it's the SAFE way to make your house smell good...no flame for me to leave burning, my mom would be SO proud! hehe.
I had my first Women'e Expo this last weekend and have a Holiday Open House this upcoming Saturday, and just signed up for the KW Grace Lutheran Art and Craft Fair show, so I will have a table there. All 3 weekends back to back to back....phew, I will be tired come December hehehe.
Scentsy is proving to me a success for me here, and has taken off. I have a new recruit here locally, who, I am sure, will do well when I leave and 4 other recruits all over back home and in the north eastern too....so maybe I have a team being built that will prove, maybe one day I can quit my day job and be a Scentsy Consultant full time. That would be awesome.
I am planning on gong to the Convention this next year in Fort Worth, TX in early Aug....which should be a great step if I want to take this Scentsy stuff to the next level. I hope where we get stationed next year takes to Scentsy like the military community and locals have here.
by the way, if you're interested is Scentsy look here: www.scentsy.us/brookecowan
it's the SAFE way to make your house smell good...no flame for me to leave burning, my mom would be SO proud! hehe.
Growing up
I am realizing that growing up mean taking responsibility for your actions: good or bad. What can't other adults do this also. No one wants to admit when they're wrong or when they've made a mistake, but I am looking hope in humanity when I see the nation, fro our the top to the bottom make excuses for their wrongs; rather then saying "I messed up" and learning from it. I wish some of my friends and co workers would take note, cause they really look like a fool when they screw up royally, then blame the little guy---really? We're there?
I am leaning that growing up means forgiving those who wrong you. I had a situation recently where I was wronged, but as with anything, you move on and you decide how to react. I can only be responsible for my actions and hope that it may be an example to others. Forgiving those who wrong you, and really, deep down, forgiving them, takes a lot. It takes a lot of hurt to overcome, but wow, what freedom and release you get from it. May God allow me, and others, to be able to responsible for our actions, even when it's not a good thing, when we mess up, and to be able to move on from those situations with a better understanding for life and hopefully learn how to handle those situations and most of all, how to be humble.
I am leaning that growing up means forgiving those who wrong you. I had a situation recently where I was wronged, but as with anything, you move on and you decide how to react. I can only be responsible for my actions and hope that it may be an example to others. Forgiving those who wrong you, and really, deep down, forgiving them, takes a lot. It takes a lot of hurt to overcome, but wow, what freedom and release you get from it. May God allow me, and others, to be able to responsible for our actions, even when it's not a good thing, when we mess up, and to be able to move on from those situations with a better understanding for life and hopefully learn how to handle those situations and most of all, how to be humble.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friends and Respect
What is it with military wives my age and not being able to support and talk to one another like adults? you know, face to face? I don't know what it is? Is it that I am educated, child-free, have a side business, am happy...I mean, what the heck else is it? Why is that all these above things seem to be thrown back in my face, like they're BAD things? I am proud of my accomplishments and love life, why is that such a threat to others, it appears to me like they're jealous, and for what? I am normal like everyone else.
I have been friends with now 4 military wives (all young mothers with, now that I see it, self esteem issues)kids and low self esteem---2 things I don't have, I am confident-what the hell is wrong with that?
Can women be friends when they're too chicken s*** to talk to each other face to face when they disagree or don't see eye to eye....all 4 of them hid behind technology and email and facebook to communicate, so basically, I had to be the "grown up" and now all 4 of them have seen my face in a final "conversation" and then seen my back walking away, cause they couldn't communicate like adults.
Readers Digest version of the recent DRAMA in my life. [why isn't there any drama with my non military girlfriends....hmmmmmm???]
I HAD 2 good friends who decided to go BEHIND my back and no even speak to me again....had no intention to unless I wouldn't had confronted one. Why? Who knows....
I had 2 friends who were very supportive of my home business and so in love with the products, enough where a friend decided to have multiple parties....frequently....she was a great hostess and we had fun!
So---through wonderful(I say sarcastically) facebook, I find out she all the sudden has a Scentsy website, so I am thinking, so cool, she's finally decided to sign up to be a seller herself(it'll save her some mula), which we had talked about many times. So I go to my website to email her and congratulate her, and to inform the "team" of our newest member....she didn't sign up under me. I am not sure why.....
So I call her, no voice mail, text and email her telling her congrats on signing up and I was wondering why you decided to sign up under someone else since we had talked about it all the time, and because we were friends. You know, plain old curiosity and a bit of feeling bamboozled. Well.....
No news to this day, and she hasn't returned a call, text or email....
It's not about her signing up under someone else, who cares, seriously, I do this for fun and I enjoy it, but she went behind my back trying to hide it, as if she knew what she was doing was unethical. The other "friend" (her right hand) straight up told me, when I confronted her as to why she enabled and supported that kind of behavior, she said she "would choose her over me".....so I decided to wash my hands of both of them.
How rude to do that, to just throw a friendship away over some stupid thing, and then not have the gall to face me or talk to me or just say "I had a friend I signed under her" or something....what a slap in the face. now she's having a party the same date and time as me, real original chick.
What's even worse, is I see her in the grocery store today and say hi to her (cause it is SERIOUSLY the right thing to do)....she doesn't even make eye contact. Now that's immature, you can't even say hi back? How old are we? I don't get it, I don't' want to get it, cause a person like that I don't need in my life; certainly not on my business team.
I do wish her and her family well, and to the friend who "choose her over me", I wish her well too and will be praying for them, because their "christian" attitudes, in all reality, need a little tweaking if they ever want to be taken seriously as sisters in Christ. I tried to do right by me and be accountable for my actions, they just want to run from theirs I suppose.....I tried to handle the situation as Christ would, but it's hard to "turn the other cheek" sometimes. I am working on it.
I guess I just killed "2 birds with one stone"....oh well, guess it's a life lesson. All those women, including myself, we all have lessons to learn, I just think they all need to take a "grown up class" and learn that when you have a problem or issue with someone you TALK to them...but these are the women who don't even tell their husbands when they're upset (cause they tell all their other women friends) cause they think treating him like crap is "their conversation" like that solves the problem...psh.
P.S. I did actually gain another AWESOME business member throughout all this, a mature woman who is honest and we are able to disagree and move on from that (because we can communicate as adults). It's nice to have women in your life who can be honest with you, it keeps you HONEST, and yet after it's all said and done, you can get along. And for that I am grateful to have those friends who are honest back.
I have been friends with now 4 military wives (all young mothers with, now that I see it, self esteem issues)kids and low self esteem---2 things I don't have, I am confident-what the hell is wrong with that?
Can women be friends when they're too chicken s*** to talk to each other face to face when they disagree or don't see eye to eye....all 4 of them hid behind technology and email and facebook to communicate, so basically, I had to be the "grown up" and now all 4 of them have seen my face in a final "conversation" and then seen my back walking away, cause they couldn't communicate like adults.
Readers Digest version of the recent DRAMA in my life. [why isn't there any drama with my non military girlfriends....hmmmmmm???]
I HAD 2 good friends who decided to go BEHIND my back and no even speak to me again....had no intention to unless I wouldn't had confronted one. Why? Who knows....
I had 2 friends who were very supportive of my home business and so in love with the products, enough where a friend decided to have multiple parties....frequently....she was a great hostess and we had fun!
So---through wonderful(I say sarcastically) facebook, I find out she all the sudden has a Scentsy website, so I am thinking, so cool, she's finally decided to sign up to be a seller herself(it'll save her some mula), which we had talked about many times. So I go to my website to email her and congratulate her, and to inform the "team" of our newest member....she didn't sign up under me. I am not sure why.....
So I call her, no voice mail, text and email her telling her congrats on signing up and I was wondering why you decided to sign up under someone else since we had talked about it all the time, and because we were friends. You know, plain old curiosity and a bit of feeling bamboozled. Well.....
No news to this day, and she hasn't returned a call, text or email....
It's not about her signing up under someone else, who cares, seriously, I do this for fun and I enjoy it, but she went behind my back trying to hide it, as if she knew what she was doing was unethical. The other "friend" (her right hand) straight up told me, when I confronted her as to why she enabled and supported that kind of behavior, she said she "would choose her over me".....so I decided to wash my hands of both of them.
How rude to do that, to just throw a friendship away over some stupid thing, and then not have the gall to face me or talk to me or just say "I had a friend I signed under her" or something....what a slap in the face. now she's having a party the same date and time as me, real original chick.
What's even worse, is I see her in the grocery store today and say hi to her (cause it is SERIOUSLY the right thing to do)....she doesn't even make eye contact. Now that's immature, you can't even say hi back? How old are we? I don't get it, I don't' want to get it, cause a person like that I don't need in my life; certainly not on my business team.
I do wish her and her family well, and to the friend who "choose her over me", I wish her well too and will be praying for them, because their "christian" attitudes, in all reality, need a little tweaking if they ever want to be taken seriously as sisters in Christ. I tried to do right by me and be accountable for my actions, they just want to run from theirs I suppose.....I tried to handle the situation as Christ would, but it's hard to "turn the other cheek" sometimes. I am working on it.
I guess I just killed "2 birds with one stone"....oh well, guess it's a life lesson. All those women, including myself, we all have lessons to learn, I just think they all need to take a "grown up class" and learn that when you have a problem or issue with someone you TALK to them...but these are the women who don't even tell their husbands when they're upset (cause they tell all their other women friends) cause they think treating him like crap is "their conversation" like that solves the problem...psh.
P.S. I did actually gain another AWESOME business member throughout all this, a mature woman who is honest and we are able to disagree and move on from that (because we can communicate as adults). It's nice to have women in your life who can be honest with you, it keeps you HONEST, and yet after it's all said and done, you can get along. And for that I am grateful to have those friends who are honest back.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Transfer Season
Sooo, it's that time in the "military life", well, at least for the Coast Guard---it's transfer season. The "shopping list" came out (lists where you are able to go based on your husband's rate/rank)...and the excitement, or disappointment ensues.
Well, I don't normally know much about it, expect Kent and I discuss the ones 'we would like to go to' and he picks the one's he'd like to be stationed at. I, unlike a lot of other over jealous wives, don't have a list printed out for me and check mark em off; I trust my husband to pick the ones HE'D like to go to, and then I say "sure" or "what? you're kidding me right?"...It kinda bothers me when the wives know more about the lists then their spouses....but I won't digress.
So, with this list coming out, it may look like, coming out of Key West, we will get a NOT SO GOOD PICK. Kent and I have both thought hard about this, and we hope he get's the one 'he's shooting for'....only time will tell. The Coast Guard's needs come first, not mine, nor his....we just hope our 'needs' and the CG's jive.
So, within the next few months we will find out where "we go next". You know, some people hate that about the military, and others don't care...I have learned this is a choice I made and what happens happens, and I have no power over it. Hopefully God's plan for our lives in the next few year is something we are prepared for, but with God, there isn't anything we can't overcome or face together.
It's like Christmas time in the CG right now, you're finding out whether you will be getting a home made Christmas gift from you grandmother or a kick ass one from your best friend.....
Well, I don't normally know much about it, expect Kent and I discuss the ones 'we would like to go to' and he picks the one's he'd like to be stationed at. I, unlike a lot of other over jealous wives, don't have a list printed out for me and check mark em off; I trust my husband to pick the ones HE'D like to go to, and then I say "sure" or "what? you're kidding me right?"...It kinda bothers me when the wives know more about the lists then their spouses....but I won't digress.
So, with this list coming out, it may look like, coming out of Key West, we will get a NOT SO GOOD PICK. Kent and I have both thought hard about this, and we hope he get's the one 'he's shooting for'....only time will tell. The Coast Guard's needs come first, not mine, nor his....we just hope our 'needs' and the CG's jive.
So, within the next few months we will find out where "we go next". You know, some people hate that about the military, and others don't care...I have learned this is a choice I made and what happens happens, and I have no power over it. Hopefully God's plan for our lives in the next few year is something we are prepared for, but with God, there isn't anything we can't overcome or face together.
It's like Christmas time in the CG right now, you're finding out whether you will be getting a home made Christmas gift from you grandmother or a kick ass one from your best friend.....
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
People who OWN or WANT animals.
Okay, so after my summer reading list goes on, I have just finished up Ceaser Milans' Ceaser's Way. It's a great book, and a great outlook on dog psychology, i.e. how a dog's mind works in retrospect to our minds as humans.
Dogs are a different species, and they don't think like us. THEY AREN'T HUMANS. They aren't a accessory, and they aren't an ornament. They are dogs, taken from their natural world and 'domesticated' by us for OUR satisfaction. They adapt for us, why can't we meet in the middle and try and understand their world, their mind, rather then think a dog, who can't speak, can change into a 4 legged human.
Read this book. Basically, if your lazy, don't get a dog. YOU ARE MISTREATING them if you don't ever take the friggin thing for a walk. It's like a kid, a tired kid is a well behaved kid, less fuss from them. Exercise, Discipline, and Affection......not the other way around, if you don't hold yourself to a disciplined lifestyle, then don't put your poor dog through that. They need to be in a good mental state just like their owner hopefully is.
JMO
Dogs are a different species, and they don't think like us. THEY AREN'T HUMANS. They aren't a accessory, and they aren't an ornament. They are dogs, taken from their natural world and 'domesticated' by us for OUR satisfaction. They adapt for us, why can't we meet in the middle and try and understand their world, their mind, rather then think a dog, who can't speak, can change into a 4 legged human.
Read this book. Basically, if your lazy, don't get a dog. YOU ARE MISTREATING them if you don't ever take the friggin thing for a walk. It's like a kid, a tired kid is a well behaved kid, less fuss from them. Exercise, Discipline, and Affection......not the other way around, if you don't hold yourself to a disciplined lifestyle, then don't put your poor dog through that. They need to be in a good mental state just like their owner hopefully is.
JMO
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